


A Christmas Carol

by blossominthesnow



Category: Holby City
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-25 17:22:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17125574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blossominthesnow/pseuds/blossominthesnow
Summary: Serena Campbell is not in the mood for Christmas or the company of anyone. But fate has other plans for her and a visit from some familiar faces will leave her thinking about her future as well as her past.





	1. Chapter 1

All the staff at Holby could agree that Serena Campbell had changed since her break up with Bernie Wolfe. In the weeks that had followed, she had become the worst version of herself. Barking orders at staff, arriving late for her shifts and drinking copious amounts of Shiraz in her office at the end of the day. Only the bravest of staff had dared to broach the subject with her and all had been given a short shrift. The latest to attempt an intervention was Henrik Hanssen, who was trying to persuade her to drop in to the staff Christmas meal. 

‘It’s just a small affair for those who will be here at midnight, to see in Christmas. I think it would be good for you to come along and join in the festive…cheer.’ 

At this, he gave a brief pause to look around the office. There was nothing to indicate that it was Christmas at all, as Serena had banned decorations. 

‘I assume you will be returning home after that to spend the day with Jason, Greta and Guinevere and anyone else who might turn up.’ 

At the last remark, his eyebrows raised a little and a small smile crossed his face. Had Serena been watching she would have noticed this, but instead she was intensely starting at her computer screen trying to avoid the conversation altogether. 

‘If you don’t mind Henrik I’m rather busy here. I’m not sure the Christmas meal is really for me.’

She failed to tell him that she was not planning to spend the day with Jason. Her actual plan was to go home, have a bottle of Shiraz and spend the day moping in bed. She did not have the energy to rebuff all Jason’s questions about Bernie. Breaking up had been hard but she had not thought about the impact it would have on Jason. Bernie had been family to him and now she was just gone. 

‘Now if you don’t mind I really have to finish this report.’

Hanssen shifted from one foot to the other. He was debating whether to push further but he decided that now was not the time. When Ms Campbell had her mind set on something the best way to change it was not to force the matter. He would go away and regroup then try again later. 

She was glad that he had decided not to continue trying to pressurize her. All she wanted to do was get through her shift and get home, oh and finally get Christmas out of the way. There was a gentle tap at her door and she let out an audible sigh. Nurse Lofty Chiltern edged his way into the room. He knew his request was not going to go down well with Serena but as he had told Dom, it was Christmas and Serena had to have some Christmas spirit. Dom had scoffed at this but he thought it might be worth a try. 

‘I’m sorry to bother you Ms Campbell. Merry Christmas by the way. I just wanted to ask, well it’s really more of a request and I know I should have made it before…’

Serena had no time for people who could not just say what they wanted. 

‘Spit it out already man. I’m trying to finish this report.’

Taken back a little Lofty began to stutter slightly. 

‘I’m sorry I..I..I’

She sighed again. 

‘Either ask or leave’

‘I just wanted to ask if I could go early today. I’ve checked the rotas and there are plenty of people on and it’s mine and Dom’s first Christmas together and I promised him...’

She let out a laugh. 

‘And you’re leaving this request until the very last minute? No Nurse Chiltern. Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.’

‘But it’s Christmas.’

Serena held up her hand. She did not want to hear any complaints from him. He had the man he loved waiting at home for him. A few more hours at work would not change that. If she had to work so did he. She dismissed him from her office and tried to get back to her report. 

As if on cue carol singers started up on the ward. Where had they come from? She shook her head and looked up at the clock, just an hour to go. A small glass of Shiraz would at least help the time pass a bit quicker, a small one of course just in case there were any emergencies before the end of the shift. Secretly she was hoping for something, anything that would delay her going home. She pulled the bottle from her draw and poured a glass.  
She must have dozed off at her desk but as Serena slowly sat up, something felt off. Her office was deadly silent, she glanced left out of the window to the ward but there did not seem to be a soul around. More than a little worried she rose quickly from her desk but in her haste managed to knock an empty bottle of Shiraz from the table. It smashed across the floor and Serena looked around expecting someone to come running. Was she really such an ogre that not a single person would check on her. Slightly perturbed she made her way out of the office. The ward was completely empty, no patients, no nurses and no carol singers. What was going on?  
There was a sudden chill in the air and Serena felt a presence by her side. More than a little scared she slowly turned to face whatever it was. 

‘Hello Ms Campbell’

Beaming from ear to ear stood Jasmine Burrows. The colour drained from Serena’s face. How could this be? Jasmine had died. Hadn’t she? 

‘Sorry I should really explain shouldn’t I? I guess it’s a bit of a shock me being here again. Especially after everything that happened.’

Serena stood completely dumbfound, the wine must have been stronger than she thought, or perhaps she was dreaming. She tried pinching her arm. 

‘Oh there’s no point doing that you aren’t dreaming all of this is quite real.’

Nope, the rational part of her brain kicked into gear. This clearly was not real and all she needed to do was wake herself up. But how? Perhaps she should just let it play out. She had to wake up at some point. 

‘Alright then explain to me exactly what is going on’

‘Well Ms Campbell it appears that you are currently on a path to bitterness and loneliness. I’m here, with some friends to help you back onto the right path. Or at least to show you the consequences of what will happen if you don’t mend your ways.’  
At this Serena rolled her eyes. Was her subconscious really doing this to her. She knew that she was not full of the Christmas cheer of others but to tell herself that she was on a path to bitterness and loneliness, well that really was a step to far. It was time to wake up. 

‘Right, I’ve had enough I want to wake up now, thank you.’ 

She sat down at the nurses’ station waiting for the dream to end. Jasmine stood near her smiling. She looked so full of life, like she had been the last time she had seen her. She felt a pang of guilt when she thought about the way she had treated her. So consumed by her own grief she has looked for anyone to blame and Jasmine had been in the firing line. She had behaved despicably and it had taken so many people to make her see the error of her ways. Bernie was at the forefront but even she was gone now. She wanted to say sorry to Jasmine but the words stuck in her throat. What could she possibly say that would make up for what had happened. 

‘Okay, I can see we are going to have to do this the hard way. You can't just wake up. You will be visited by three more people before this is over. One will show you the past, one the present and the other the future. You can take what you will from each of these encounters but each is equally important. I really hope you find your way back to happiness.’ 

As she said the last sentence, she began to walk away until Serena was left quite alone on the ward. She waited for what seemed like an eternity but was in actual fact only a few moments. What did any of this mean? Before she had time to process it, she heard a familiar voice calling her name from behind the door to the corridor. Instinctively she walked towards it.


	2. Ghost of Christmas past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A familiar face shows Serena three Christmas scenes from the past. Only one is her own but how could these possibly help her?

As she stepped through the door Serena suddenly found herself in an unfamiliar study. The room was blue and had shelves brimming with books. Before she could investigate further, the voice spoke to her again. 

‘Serena’ 

She turned and found herself face to face with her mother, Adrienne. She let out a short brief gasp. This really was too much, first Jasmine and now her mother. This had to be some sort of crazy dream or her subconscious playing cruel tricks on her. 

‘Don’t gawp Serena, it makes it look like you’re trying to catch flies.’

That was definitely her mother, any doubts that she had were cleared up by the comment. Much as she loved her mother, she was never one to give out many compliments to her daughter. 

‘Listen we don’t have much time. I am sure there are plenty of questions you have for me but they will have to wait. We’re going to visit three past Christmases all   
from the same year. You need…guidance at the moment and that’s what I’m here to help with.’

Serena did have many questions but before she was able to say anything Henrik Hanssen walked into the room. 

‘Henrik?’

He did not even look up, even when she moved closer to him. 

‘It’s no use. This is the past. He can’t see or hear you. All you can do is observe.’

Serena raised an eyebrow. What was the point in being here? Her patience was beginning to wear thin. She walked over to the desk to see what Hanssen was doing she might as well try and find something to occupy her time until she woke up. 

From his draw, Hanssen pulled two envelopes. The first contained a Christmas card with a happy family scene on. They year said 2016, but Henrik was in Sweden for that Christmas. That was what she and the rest of the staff at Holby had been led to believe. He looked at the card for a long time. The look that passed across his face was familiar to her as she had felt it often enough. Guilt mixed with shame. As she looked closer at the card, she saw that one of the people in the picture was his son Frederick. She understood the look now. Since his death, they had shared some conversations about their lost children and it was obvious to everyone that Henrik regretted not doing more for his son in the past. 

As he opened the second card a note fell out that he quickly picked up. Serena was unable to contain her curiosity and leaned in closer. She knocked Henrik’s shoulder slightly but rather than stumbling against it her arm went straight through. Adrienne sighed and rolled her eyes. Had anyone else been able to see it would have been obvious that the two of them were related as Serena almost immediately did the same thing. 

‘Yes, yes I’m not really here.’

She huffed and went back to reading the letter that seemed to mean so much to Henrik. 

‘Just a quick note to say Merry Christmas. Sorry you aren’t joining us this year. I miss you and of course, David does too. He’s been reminiscing a lot about university recently. He’s even had me up in the loft digging out some old photos. I’ve included one from uni. God how young do we all look!  
Anyway I hope whatever it is that is keeping you away from us is either very fun or extremely important. We can’t have you turning into a bore like John!   
David gets his test results back next week. I’m not really sure what we’re expecting. If you have a spare few minutes it would be nice to have a catch up on the phone.   
All my love  
Rox’

Henrik picked up the photo. There were three people in it, a girl grinning in the middle, a slightly awkward looking man half grinning to her left and a very serious looking man to his right. Henrik, Roxanna and John. Henrik seemed to hold on to the photo for a long time before getting up and leaving the room.   
The whole scene seemed somewhat brief and Serena was not sure what would come next or even what she was doing there. Surely if this was meant to be about her the memories should all be her own. And if it was a dream of hers where had all this information about Henrik come from. She did feel bad for him. He had lost both his son and the women he had clearly been in love with. It seemed strange to her that he had chosen to spend Christmas alone when he clearly had people that wanted to spend it with him. He was willing cutting himself off.   
Before she had time to ask any questions things in the room began to change. Serena looked around her new surroundings; a bedroom that looked like it was from the 90s. There were posters of pop stars around the room and the bed looked like it had not been slept in for a while. From beyond the door, she could hear people shouting. Where could she be? An extremely agitated Dominic Copeland entered the room. He was carrying a bag and his laptop. 

‘Mother I will be down in a bit. I just need some space.’

He dropped his bag on the floor and placed his laptop on the bed next to him as he sat down. From his pocket, he pulled out his phone. He appeared to be repeatedly checking his text messages. Serena moved closer and could just make out the name Isaac. She shuddered at the thought of him. Dom was well rid of the vile man but clearly, this was when they were still together. He sighed to himself then opened his laptop. The first page he went to was Facebook and to Zosia March’s page. She could see him opening up a message then pausing. He began flicking through her recent posts. All of them were her beaming with Oliver Valentine. They seemed to be having a very nice Christmas together, or at least the pictures indicted they were. Dom sighed again and closed the message down. Serena herself could not see the point of Facebook. People were always posting beaming pictures of themselves when the reality was normally far different. 

Dom closed the web page down and opened a folder on his desktop. To Serena’s surprise, it contained photos of Arthur Digby. He began flicking through them. She had almost forgotten that Dom, Zosia and Arthur had lived together and how close the three of them had been. As Dom looked at the pictures, he began to sob. 

‘Oh Diggers what should I do.’

He closed the pictures down and took one last look at his room before wiping his face and heading for the door.   
Serena stood for a moment lost in her own thoughts. Arthur Digby had been such a promising doctor. What had happened to him had been such a tragedy. With Arthur gone and Zosia so happy Dom must have felt so alone. She felt a pang of guilt, was there more she could have done to help? But then she was never that close to Dom so would she have even seen the signs. Adrienne pulled her from her thoughts. 

‘I have one last place to take you before my part is over.’

Serena rushed over to her, with all that had been going on she had quite forgotten she was there. She wanted to ask her so much, and there she wanted to tell her mother. More than anything she wanted to hug her but much like the other people she had touched her hands passed through her. 

In her frustration, she turned to walk away but found herself in her own house. It was clearly Christmas as the hall was covered in tinsel. She could hear people talking in the living room and quickly pushed her way into the room. Her breathe caught in her throat, sat on the sofa with a bored expression on her face was Elinor. 

‘Ellie’ 

The name slipped out and she rushed towards her daughter. She desperately wanted to hold her again, to warn her about what was going to happen. Jason was explaining the plot of the Doctor Who episode he was watching to her but she wasn’t really paying attention. Serena tried to grab at her again and again but she was unable to. She turned to Adrienne. 

‘Please’

Adrienne looked back at her. 

‘This has already happened there is nothing you can do’

She watched Elinor make her excuses and leave the room. She wanted to follow her but every time she tried to leave, she ended up back in the living room. Bernie’s two children were sat on the opposite sofa to Jason. They were engaged in some Christmas game and giggling to themselves. She could see Jason looking perturbed at the noise they were making. Everything was just how she remembered it, all the family together. This had been her perfect Christmas. There was only one person missing, where was Bernie. As if to answer her question, she heard a giggle from the kitchen. Behind her Elinor had come back into the room. As she heard the giggling, she rolled her eyes. Just like her grandmother Serena thought. 

The kitchen smelt of Christmas foods and wines. She could see herself at the sink washing dishes with Bernie stood behind her. She had placed her arms through Serena’s and had managed to get soap bubble everywhere. The two of them were giggle about the mess. Bernie’s face was next to Serena’s and she could remember everything about the moment. The way her hair had smelt, the cheeky glint in her eyes and the stolen kiss they had engaged in. In that moment, she wanted to rush forward and hold Bernie. To have that moment all over again and to not let her go. She knew the moment would be over any second. Jason had walked in to complain that Bernie’s children were being too loud. Ellie had taken the opportunity to sneak upstairs for some peace and Serena had gone back to washing whilst Bernie reprimanded her offspring. What she would give for just five more minutes of just the two of them. 

The moment began to fade away and Serena found herself back on AAU with Adrienne. She turned to her mother brimming with anger. She had so much she needed to say but Adrienne raised her hand. 

‘Serena I don’t have time to answer all your questions but I can leave you with one thing. I want you to know that I always loved you and I was always proud of you. You’ve lost your way but you can still find happiness you just need to think about your choices.’

Serena watched her mother fade from sight and bitter tears rolled down her face. What could possibly be the point of showing her that perfect Christmas? Ellie was gone as was Bernie. She would never have a Christmas like that again. She just needed to think about her choices. Well they were the very things that had led her to this moment. In her anger, she failed to notice the figure that had appeared next to her.


	3. The Ghost of Christmas Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Serena ready to hear what people really think of her?

Roxanna Macmillan stood impatiently waiting for Serena to notice her. She had people she wanted to see and places she wanted to go and she did not have time to mess around. After a few moments, she did a small cough. Serena spun round attempting to wipe the tears from her face. Whoever it was, she did not want them seeing her in this state. 

‘Roxanna’

Serena looked sadly at her former colleague. It did not seem that long ago that Roxanna had walked the halls of Holby full of life and hope. She had lost her husband but Henrik had been there to support her as she had supported him after the death of Frederick. And then John had happened. 

‘Hello Serena, I wish we were meeting up under better circumstances but here we both are.’

The last comment slightly worried Serena. Perhaps this was not a dream perhaps she was dead. She shook her head; clearly, she had been working too hard. 

‘Yes, yes and I would really appreciate it if we could just get on with this.’ 

The sooner she got through this the sooner she could get back to normal. 

‘As you wish. I’m here to show you your Christmas present.’

In an instant they were in the staff room; it was full of doctors, nurses and other staff from a range of wards. At the very front were Sacha and Henrik. So, this was the Christmas meal he had been talking about earlier. She was glad she was missing it. There were Christmas decorations everywhere and so many people. The two of them were having a hushed conversation and her curiosity got the better of her. She moved closer hoping to hear what they were discussing. 

‘Perhaps you should have tried harder Henrik. I’m really worried about her. She hasn’t been the same since Bernie left.’

Henrik sighed. 

‘Mr Levy I assure you I am keeping an eye on her. She made her feelings about this very clear. I don’t think that now is the time to push her. Let us get through Christmas and then we can regroup and decide how to move forward with the situation.’

Sacha still looked concerned but nodded. He had known Henrik long enough to trust him and although he did not want to admit it he was more than a little scared of Serena. 

‘You’re right. Now it’s time to get this started.’

Serena regretted listening in. They were clearly talking about her. Why did everyone think they knew what she needed? What she really needed was to be left alone. She moved back to stand next to Roxanna at the side of the room. 

Henrik tapped a glass to get everyone’s attention. 

‘Thank you all for joining us here today, and thank you all for giving up your time to work over Christmas. This year has been a hard one for everyone.’

He paused slightly. The year had been especially hard for him. 

‘So let us raise a glass to our colleagues, friends and family and those who are no longer with us.’

Henrik looked over to where Serena and Roxanna were stood and a small smile crossed his face. Serena looked around to see who was stood near them but they were alone in their little corner. Could Henrik actually see them? She looked up at Roxanna for clarification. Serena could clearly see the look of love upon her face and felt a pang of sadness that the two of them would never be able to tell each other about their feelings. Of course he could not see her but that did not stop him thinking about her. 

Serena suddenly found herself in a supply cupboard. What was going on? She turned to Roxanna who merely shrugged and smiled. The sadness from the previous encounter had now gone from her face and she gestured towards the door. Dominic Copeland came bounding in pulling Lofty Chiltern in behind him. 

‘Dom, I’m so sorry this is all my fault. I should have asked sooner. I know this isn’t how you wanted us to spend our first Christmas.’

Dom pulled him closer and Serena tried to wiggle to stay out of their way. It felt wrong peaking in on this private moment between the two of them. 

‘Do you know what I was doing this time a few years ago? Actually, it doesn’t even matter. Being here in this supply closet with you is a million times better. I never thought I could be this happy and I certainly never pictured myself getting married to the love of my life. I’ll take every moment I can get. Even if it does involve a clandestine meeting in a store cupboard. ’

Lofty grinned and looked into his husbands eyes. It still felt strange thinking of him as his husband. 

‘Well five more minutes and then I need to get back to the ward. Phil said he would cover for me but if Ms Campbell notices I’m not there, well then there will be hell to pay.’

Dom laughed. 

‘God she is really is an ogre. I have a good mind to go and say something to her.’

‘Don’t Dom, she’s clearly going through some things. And it’s Christmas after all, good will to everyone.’

Dom loved how Lofty always saw the best in people, even if they did not really deserve it. 

‘Hmmm, I guess but only because it’s Christmas. Oh and make sure you’re straight home after the shift ends I have plenty of surprises for you.’  
The two shared a passionate kiss before separately making their way out of the cupboard. 

Serena was steaming. How dare Dominic call her an ogre. Lofty was down to work a shift and work the shift he would. She turned to rant to Roxanna but before she could get any words out the scenery began to change again. 

She found herself stood in Jason and Greta’s house. The two of them sat on the sofa with Guinevere in a baby chair in front of them. Jason had a frown on his face as did Greta. 

‘Aunty Serena said that she isn’t coming for Christmas. Since she sent Bernie away, she has been very grumpy and all she does is drink. I don’t think she’s a very good influence for Guinevere.’

Greta nodded. 

‘I think you’re right. We should speak to her about this, but first we need to watch Doctor Who.’

Jason’s frown turned into a smile. 

‘Guinevere prepare to be amazed.’

He lifted his daughter onto his knee. There was a knock at the door and Greta got up to answer it. As she did, Serena moved towards Jason. She wanted to make him see her, to explain that she was not a bad influence and that she was sorry. Since the death of Elinor, Jason and Greta were her only family and she had looked upon Guinevere as a surrogate granddaughter. If they took her away, she would have no one. The only reason she had turned down spending Christmas with them was because she hadn’t wanted the pain of talking about Bernie. She had been like family to Jason and he was deeply upset at the thought of not seeing her again. Greta appeared at the door with someone behind her but before Serena could see who it was, she found herself back on AAU. 

Roxanna faced Serena, the sad look that she had seen earlier had returned. 

‘I hope this has helped you Serena.’

Serena scoffed. How on earth did hearing people berate her help in anyway. 

‘Well I just have one piece of advice to give you. I didn’t get the time to tell the man I loved how I felt. We wasted so much time distracted by other things. You need to make time for those closest to you before it’s too late, and stop pushing people away.’

Serena was still annoyed and merely shrugged at Roxanna. Her situation with Henrik was completely different from hers with Bernie. Roxanna shook her head, turned, and walked away. Hopefully the next person could make Serena see the error of her ways. 

Serena found herself alone on the ward again. There was almost too much for her to take in. Is this what people really thought about her? Well she was glad she knew at least, the next time she saw Dominic Copeland she would give him a piece of her mind and how on earth could Jason not think she was a good influence? She did not drink that much, well no more than anyone else, did she? She could not wait for this whole thing to just be over. Jasmine had told her three people would visit her which meant the next person would be the last.


	4. The Ghost of Christmas Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will the last ghost show Serena?

As Serena stood alone in AAU she began to calm down. Perhaps Dom had been right, after all Lofty had checked that there was enough cover for the shift. Would it really have hurt to let him leave early? And Henrik had only been trying to help her when inviting her to the Christmas meal. What was she becoming? Why was she pushing everyone away?

She felt a sudden calmness and found a figure stood next to her. Unlike the others, she was unable to see their face. The person wore a long dark cloak with the hood pulled down over their face. 

‘Hello, do we know each other?’

She reached out a hand to the figure but they said and did nothing. There was silence between the two of them, a silence that Serena could not stand. Why would they not speak to her and, more importantly why would they not show her their face. 

‘Cat got your tongue?’

She gave a nervous laugh. Still no reply. The figure merely pointed to the door. Serena shrugged and walked through it. She just wanted the whole thing to be over now. Her head was hurting and she thought that perhaps she needed another drink. 

The door opened into an overly decorative room. There were pictures of children on all the walls and Christmas decorations everywhere. The room quite noisy. Two young children ran around the room, a girl and a boy. Dom and Henrik stood towards the back of the room deep in conversation. There seemed to be a closeness between the two of them that Serena had never seen before. Sat on the sofa were Sacha and Lofty, Sacha was attempting to untangle himself from a skipping rope that the little boy has wound around him. As Lofty tried to help, the knots only seemed to become tighter. 

‘I think if we just loosen this one up… oh never mind. So, Director of Nursing, how’s it going?’

He struggled a little more before attempting a different knot. Arthur had done an extremely good job of making sure he could not escape. He loved his godson but sometimes he could be a little horror. 

‘Well it’s certainly challenging but I think I’m getting the hang of it. Dom has been really supportive, especially given all his responsibilities running AAU. I guess the only thing is that we both get a bit less time with Arthur and Cecilia. I mean you and Mr Hanssen have been brilliant helping out as well.’  
Sacha smiled. 

‘Well that’s what god parents are for.’

Lofty looked over to where his husband was and smiled. Things had not always been smooth sailing, Dom’s mullet had been a particularly low point, but they had made it and they had two beautiful children that they loved dearly. Dom looked back and gave a wave. 

‘I see little Arthur appears to have tied Mr Levy up again.’

Dom rolled his eyes. His son seemed to be full of boundless energy. He looked around for Cecilia. She emerged from behind the tree and ran over to Henrik, tugging on his arm. 

‘This is the last time.’

He pulled her up onto his shoulders and she giggled. Her head nearly touched the ceiling and she called down to her brother. Henrik smiled, he enjoyed having a family to spend Christmas with, later he would call Oskar.

‘How many applicants do you have for the scholarship this year?’

Henrik helped Cecilia down and she ran off to antagonise her brother. 

‘Over fifty and a large portion of them are exceptional. It’s going to be hard to make a decision.’ 

Dom rested his hand on Henrik’s arm. 

‘She would be so proud of everything you’ve done. Especially the scholarship.’

Henrik smiled. 

‘Thank you Mr Copeland, Dominic. And Arthur would be proud of you. ’

They both raised their glasses. 

‘To the Roxanna Macmillan scholarship fund.’

Serena smiled to herself. It was nice to see them all doing so well. The only thing that slightly bothered her was Dom heading up AAU. Did this mean that she was now CEO again? She was excited to see what the future held for her.

Serena turned round to see what the figure was doing but they had remained silently observing from the side of the room. As she turned back, the scenery changed and she found herself in a smaller living room. 

Jason and Greta entered followed by a little girl who appeared to be about ten. Serena looked more closely at her. Could that be Guinevere? She had grown so much. The three of them sat on the sofa and put the TV on. It was nice to see that they had kept their Doctor Who tradition. 

‘We need to wait for your aunt before we start Guinevere.’

The little girl looked expectantly towards the kitchen, as did Serena. She was excited to see what she would look like. Ten years was a long time and although she would never openly admit it, she was a little vain at times. What was taking her so long?

Serena was shocked to see Bernie and not herself, walking out of the kitchen with a tray of drinks. 

‘Sorry it took so long I was just making sure everyone had the correct mugs.’

She placed the drinks down and Guinevere ran over to sit on her knee. 

‘Before we start I think we should have a toast to those who couldn’t be with us today.’

Jason shot Bernie a glare. 

‘If you are referring to Aunty Serena I would prefer that you don’t mention her in front of Guinevere. We haven’t spoken to her in over six months and I think we can all agree that is for the best.’

A silence fell over the room only broken by Guinevere bouncing on Bernie’s knee and asking Doctor Who to start.

Serena stood watching Bernie. She looked even more attractive if that were possible. Although now her face seemed filled with sadness, Serena wanted to go over and hold her. How had this happened? What had made Jason cut off contact with her? She walked towards Bernie desperate to make her see that she was there but before she could reach her, the room faded away. 

Serena stood in what appeared to be her house but it could not be. The floor was covered in dirty dishes and glasses. There was mail piled up behind the door including many that looked like final reminders. Who could live in such squallier? She moved into the centre of the living room. There was not a single sign that it was Christmas. A knock at the door followed by some singing from outside was met by an angry shout from the sofa. 

‘Just bugger off!’

Serena had not noticed that there was a figure curled up on the sofa. They rose and to her horror, Serena saw that it was herself. She looked older and more dishevelled but it was definitely her. The figure staggered across the room, swearing when she kicked over a glass. What had happened to make her this way? Her future self tripped and fell to the ground. Rather than pulling herself up, she remained on the ground and began to sob. Serena jumped back not wanting to be near the mess of a woman currently in front of her. 

She looked around desperately for the figure. She had seen enough of her future. What good could seeing this possibly do her? It was clear that she was destined to end up alone and in squalor.

‘Please, please I don’t want to see anymore.’ 

She fell to her knees and sobbed. As she reached out to the figure, she was surprised to find that should could touch them. The figure lifted her up and drew her in. Serena held onto them for a long time. She did not care who it was, she just wanted to feel close to someone again. 

As they stood holding each other she felt a calmness return to her. 

‘How do I know you?’

The figure pulled back and took down their hood. Serena let out a cry. 

‘Ellie’

She pulled her daughter close again, she wanted to make the most of every minute. 

‘I’ve missed you so much.’

‘I’ve missed you too but right now I’m here to help you. You need to fix things mum. You need to stop pushing people away.’

Serena did not want the moment to end but she knew it would. 

‘I know.’

As Ellie faded away, Serena found herself alone again. 

‘I love you’

She whispered.


	5. Time to make things right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does Serena have time to make everything right again?

Serena jerked awake; she was back at her desk in her office. She could hear the bustle of the ward outside and the carol singers still bothering people. She glanced up at the clock, midnight. That meant that there was still time for her to make things right. 

The first thing she did was pick up the two bottles of Shiraz she had stored in her draw. She needed to stop drinking at work. In fact, she probably needed to stop drinking altogether. That would have be something she tackled once Christmas was over. Anyway, she would donate the bottles to the staff Christmas party that way they were out of her office and out of the way of temptation. 

As she made her way out of the office, she bumped into one of the carol singers. Her first instinct was to shout at them. She had no idea where they had come from, or even who had invited them on to the ward. Now they were just getting in the way. She took a deep breath; she was determined to be a happier more welcoming person. 

‘I’m sorry. Merry Christmas.’

She fumbled in her pocket and threw the first thing she found in. To her horror, it was a £20 note. There was no way she could take it back. Deep breath, it was just money. 

Right, it was time to find Nurse Chilton. He would be the next person she helped. Although finding him turned out to be harder than she thought. He did not appear to be anywhere on the ward. It was then she remembered the store cupboard. Rather than bursting in, she did not want to ruin his moment with Dom, she waited patiently outside. The whole scenario had seemed much quicker when she had been trapped in the closest with the two of them. They eventually emerged and, on seeing Serena, the colour instantly drained from Lofty’s face. 

‘Ms Campbell, I can explain, erm I was just getting some supplies from the closet and well Dom happened to also be getting supplies.’

Dom moved instinctively in front of him to shield him from the almighty telling off he was bound to get. They were both shocked by what happened next. Instead of shouting, Serena began to laugh. 

‘Oh what I’d give for five minutes in a cupboard with someone I love.’

She winked at Dom and he stepped back a little shocked. 

‘Now Nurse Chiltern, I may have been a little rash earlier. I’ve looked over the rotas and you are right there is enough cover. I suggest you get those supplies back to the ward and then make your way home to enjoy Christmas.’ 

Dom and Lofty stood staring at each other. What was happening?

‘I’d do it now before I change my mind.’

The two scuttled off down the corridor towards the ward. 

‘Ms Campbell’

She turned to look at Lofty. 

‘Merry Christmas’. 

She smiled at him and watched the two of them walk off together. They made a good pair. 

She took a deep breath. The next stop was the staff Christmas party. She would not stay long, just long enough to drop off the wine and apologise to Henrik. As she drew nearer, she could feel her nerves getting the better of her. For the past couple of months she had been awful to everyone. Why would they forgive her, did she even deserve it? She reached the door and paused. 

‘Ms Campbell’

She nearly jumped out of her skin. How did Henrik always managed to sneak up on her. She swore the man must float on air. 

‘Henrik, I erm, I..’

She was struggling to find the words. 

‘Oh I see you’ve brought along some wine for the party.’

She handed him the bottles and felt relieved to be free of them. Walking around the hospital with them had garnered some strange looks from staff and patients. 

‘Henrik, I just wanted to apologise. My behaviour over the past few months has been unforgivable. I shouldn’t have been taking out my personal problems on staff.’

Henrik smiled. He himself had had an awful year and knew all too well about taking his personal issues out in unhealthy ways. Thankfully he had found a good therapist and had even managed to start speaking to Sara again. 2019 would be a year of healing for Holby and he wanted to help her with that. 

‘Serena, after what you’ve been through over the past year it’s understandable. It’s time to look to the future and remember I’m here if you need to talk.’

He nodded his head and made his way in to the party. She has appreciated that he had not insisted on her going in. She was doing her best to make amends but a whole room full of staff felt like a little bit much so early on. 

She stood for a moment in the corridor and exhaled. Henrik really was the moral compass of the hospital. Always there to help staff when they needed it but who was there to help him. She needed to make sure that she was there to support him going forward. Perhaps she could even help him set up the scholarship. Satisfied that she had done enough at the hospital she made her way to the car park. 

It was late but she knew she needed to let Jason know that she would now be going for Christmas day. She hoped he would not be angry with her. Routine was very important to him and she hated the fact that she had now disrupted that for him. She decided to text rather than ring in case he was asleep. Almost immediately, she received a text back with a detailed itinerary for the day. It was as if Jason had been anticipating the message, perhaps he knew her better than she knew herself. 

As she got to her car, she knew she had one last person left to contact. This was the thing she was dreading the most. She felt mentally and physically exhausted   
from the night. She wanted to get the phone call right so decided that the best thing to do was to go home and sleep first. Then she would call Bernie, and then she would make everything right. What she needed more than anything was to rest. 

Serena fumbled with her phone struggling to type the numbers in. Even after sleeping her head still felt foggy. She knew she needed to do this but she had never felt so nervous about anything in her life. The last time they had spoken she had sent Bernie away but not before breaking her heart. She impatiently waited for the phone to ring. What if she didn’t want to speak to her? Could she even repair the damage she had done? She had not even thought of what time it would be in Nairobi. To her disappointment, the phone went to voicemail. She suddenly felt herself unable to think of the words to say. Tears rolled down her cheeks, perhaps there were some things that could not be fixed. Perhaps fate just had different plans for them. Still, she had the rest of the day to spend with Jason, Greta and Guinevere. She still had her family and she was going to make sure she never took them for granted again. 

It was after ten when she pulled up to the house. Jason would be annoyed, he was working to a tight schedule and she had promised to be there by nine forty five. As she got out of the car, she nearly dropped one of her gifts. She cursed under her breath. She scolded herself, no swearing around Guinevere, she reminded herself. The walk to the house seemed to take an age and every step of the way she was thinking of Bernie. She shook her head, right now she needed to focus on the day ahead. She rang the bell and waited for Jason to answer. Why was he taking so long? 

‘Can I help you with those?’

Serena could not believe her ears. Could it really be? She glanced over the gifts and saw Bernie standing in the doorway. Without thinking, she dropped everything she was carrying. Bernie scrabbled to help her pick them up and the two locked eyes. 

‘Are you really here?’ 

After everything that had happened Serena was not sure that she could trust her eyes. Bernie squeezed her arm. 

‘I’m definitely here Campbell.’

Serena felt a shot of electricity move throughout her body. She had missed Bernie’s touch more than she realised. 

‘But how? Why?’

Serena stood still on the doorstep and Bernie gestured for her to come in. Jason would be eager to get things under way and they were already running late. 

‘Well Henrik called me last week and told me how you had been. I wanted to call but I just couldn’t find the words and then Jason suggested coming for Christmas. And well here I am.’ 

She was unable to say anything else as tears were streaming down her face. 

‘I’ve missed you so much.’

The two women placed the gifts on the ground and moved in to embrace each other. Nothing else mattered to them in that moment. The past was the past and long forgotten, they had found each other again and this time nothing would separate them. Well nothing apart from Jason’s impatience. 

‘If you two don’t mind we would really like to get the day started.’

Both women laughed and followed Jason into the living room. Serena smiled, she finally had all her family under one roof again and this time she intended to keep them together. 

The three women stood outside looking through the window at the happy scene inside. Jason and Greta had Guinevere sat between them and Bernie and Serena were curled up together on the sofa. Their eyes locked on each other. Serena stroked Bernie’s cheek and moved in to kiss her. The three women smiled, their work was done and they slowly faded from sight.


End file.
